Rediculusy Romantic I
by MirrorKisses
Summary: Mysteriously enough, Marco never took “Leave me the hell alone” As an insult, more so as a kiss good-morning. If you don’t like sarcasm, drama, slash and Marco abuse, then why are you reading this?
1. Default Chapter

**

* * *

**

**Rediculusy Romantic**

* * *

****

**Summary: Mysteriously enough, Marco never took "Leave me the hell alone" As an insult, more so as a kiss good-morning. If you don't like sarcasm, drama, slash and Marco abuse, then why are you reading this?**

* * *

As an observer of Marc's lifestyle, filled with woe and angst, I couldn't help but wonder, what the hell is this boy's problem. But don't mind me, I'm just an observer. But, when I asked him could I write a book, or story on him he gladly agreed, because he's an idiot, and I so candy coated it to make it sound like he was some nightly prince when in reality he was a big, goofy, dorky, cute, idiot. And don't cover your mouth and gasp, because Dylan calls him one every day. And that's his frinken' boy friend! Okay, let's begin.

Marco sat on the couch watching TiVo'd episodes of Queer as Folk, because he has no concept of real gay life style. Just as Brian started making out with Justin the phone rang, eagerly he ran to pick it up, hoping it's the man of his dreams. Even better: It's Dylan.

Dylan, for those of you rather dim witted people out there who don't have eyes, is the blonde haired stereotypical white boy that all the girls mistaken as straight. Not. He likes boys and is gay as the ring pop on my finger right now. He waited until Marco said Hello twice, because he loved seeing him worry and then breathed into the phone " I dreamed about you last night" knowing it would make him blush.

And it did!

Marco blushed wildly and sat down on the couch," I woke up all sweaty and dazed and confused and I just wanted to hold you" Dylan continued gently.

"Re- really Dy- Dy- Dylan" Marco stuttered out, because he was an…say it with me now…love sick idiot.

"Fuck no" Dylan laughed. " Now get your ass over here, I'm hungry."

"Okay Dylan, I love you-" Marco began when he heard the jingle of the phone in his ear. Of course, Dylan had hung up. Marco walked into his bed room to get dressed for his 'Date'.

* * *

**Love Lesson 1#:**

Marco, please sweetie listen to me, when you put on jeans, make sure that you do not have to suck in all the air that your skinny little body can handle to get into them. This may make Dylan crazy with passion, but since you never get through the whole date wearing them, please spare us this need. Thank you.

* * *

As Marco sat at the table a montage of him and Dylan's date flashed before his eyes.

"Hi Dylan…I just wanted to say that you look really sexy today…"

"Bite me"

Or how about this one…

"Dylan, I need help with my homework, please could you help me?"

"Go get your boy friend to help you with it!"

"You are"

"Oh God Marco, you're so gay"

Or the classic one…

"Hello my name is Marco Del Rossi, and I'd like to be your president" Marco recited from the paper, looking at Dylan with eager eyes. " Whaddya think?"

"How about "Hey, queer, sure, odd, why not, strange, you bet?" Dylan asked smartly.

"Brilliant! God, I love this boy"

And lastly…

"Happy anniversary love, it's been 2 whole years since we met each other and 1 year 5 months since we first kissed." Marco said softly under the moonlight.

Dylan smiled down at him," Do I know you?"

"I-"

"Wait, don't tell me…Mike…Mark…Martha…."

"Marco…"

"Mary…"

"Marco…"

"Marci…"

"Marco!"

"Oh, now I remember! Dan!"

"What?"

"Not you" Dylan said angrily, pushing him aside," Dan! Hey, wanna finish where we left off from last night?"

Marco smiled as he sat at the table. Good times, good times. No wonder he loved him so much.

* * *

**Love Lesson 2#:**

Marco is an idiot, remember that, so when you roll your eyes at his stupidity you know at least he has a reason..

* * *

Dylan sat down across from him, looking God fearing sexy as usual and gave Marco multiple heart attacks. Maybe I should count them off, I dunno." Hey sexy" Dylan purred.

"Hi Dyl" Marco replied shyly.

"You act like you never met me before" Dylan said tiredly.

"Well…you actually remembered my name"

"I did"

"Please, just tell me you remember my name"

"Of course, it's Marco"

Another memory flashed before Marco's eyes.

Dylan leaned over and kissed him " That was the best kiss I ever had Dan"

And…

"Tyler…"

And

"David"

And…

"Alex"

And…

"Sammy"

And

"Tom…Tim…Timmy….tarah…that was a girl but I couldn't tell the difference…"

"I love you Robert"

"I love you Kyle"

"I love you Daniel"

"I love you James"

"I love you Mike, Mark, Keith and your twin brother Lyle."

And lastly, as usual," I love you Marci"

* * *

**Love Lesson 3#:**

Why does Marco put up with his crap, I really want to know, why is he doing this to himself! He is like a sex god, there are so many other people out there for him! AHHHH! Why am I forced to recap his mishaps?

* * *

" I was really worried you wouldn't show" Marco confessed as he stirred around with his straw." You know, with you and your hockey and all"

Dylan kissed him on the mouth" Have you been kissing someone else besides me?"

"Me…ugh…never, why would I do that?" Marco stammered.

"Well, I taste someone else besides me on your lips" Dylan answered matter of factly.

" No. never. Oh. No. I would never dream of such a thing" Marco confessed quietly." I love you Dylan, I tell you that all the time"

"Good, then it must have been me"

Marco had a flashback of his G.O.A. meeting ( Gay Obsessers Anonymous)

"Hi, my name is Marco Del Rossi and I'm in love with a boy who will never want me, I have no remote life, get by on my looks and charm and cry myself to sleep at night"

The club monotone was "Hey Marco" As he sat around a jury of real dead end people. They later broke out to Michael Jackson's Thriller and danced around the room.

"You sure as hell stair off into space that often. You remind me of last years date with Peter…"

"It was Percy actually, I was there remember, you took him to the place where I had worked to make out in front of me for an hour" Marco answered sadly.

"Oh yeah…he was a good kisser" Dylan smiled softly." But I do think you're better"

Marco's eyes lit up," Really, you mean it?"

"Yeah" Dylan answered," Why else have I kept you this long?"

* * *

**OH BURN! Marco lurve comes in different abusive sizes, but this is only the beginning, really, what happened if Dylan was Brian and Marco was Justin. How long will it take before he leaves him, or Dylan leaves Marco? GASP! Review!**


	2. kicking me when i'm down

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 2: Kicking Me When I'm Down**

* * *

Marco sat down inside the chair as Dylan had instructed and bit his lip as Dylan took a picture of him." Smile baby" Dylan muttered as he snapped another one and another one until he had six in all. He waited for them to develop, since it was an instant camera and held up the pictures for Marco to see." Choose the best picture" He commanded as Marco choose a picture of him with a big smile. Dylan winced and picked the picture of Marco looking like he was about to cry instead." This, my dear…whatever your name is…is your head shot" 

"Head shot?" Marco repeated

"Yes, you idiot" Dylan sighed," We're gonna put it on your fake I.D"

"Fake ID:" Marco asked.

"When I sneak you into the club? SO you can be a dancer…on the pipes….like we agreed last night?" Dylan asked.

"Before or after you slipped that thing into my drink?" Marco asked cluelessly.

"Before" Dylan sighed out.

"Before or after I lost consciousness?" Marco continued,

"After"

"Before or after you said you loved me?"

"I don't remember that part, probably in between" Dylan replied.

"Bef-"

"Shut the hell up okay, you're going to the club with me tonight, end of story" Dylan snapped as he put the camera down," Come on shorty, let's go make out in a corner"

"Okay" Marco piped up

* * *

**Love Lesson 4:**

Marco baby, please, don't let Dylan keep slipping those "Peppermints" into your drinks. Because those aren't peppermints

* * *

Marco and Dylan made their way to the entry of the club, the high techno music banging in their ears. Dylan was dressed as a 70s pimp and Marco was dressed as Sarah Michelle Gellar, buffy get up and all. Just for kicks Dylan got him the Britney spears high school girl braids too. "Mark...meet Marco" Dylan said to the bouncer. 

"hey" a gruff voice replied as Dylan grabbed Marco ass and walked into the club, " Ready to have some fun, darling?" Dylan asked.

Marco smiled," Sure!"

"Here, have a peppermeint" Dylan said, handing Marco one as he headed for the dance floor. He signed over at the bartender. " Mitch, get the poles ready"

"It's Manny" The guy said darkly.

"Did I fuck you?" Dylan asked smugly.

"Yeah..."

"Then you're name is fucking Mitch, get the poles ready, my kid here wants to dance" Dylan replied, rubbing Marco's head.

"Dylan...my head hurts" He whispered.

"Good, the fun's just starting..."

* * *

**HISS! evil Dylan. review.**


End file.
